Life's been... well... okay, so far. Can't say that it's amazing. But I sure know it isn't bad either. It could be way worse. But of course, it could also be way better. In essence, I've had better days but at the same time, I've also had worse. I'm still in the process of making things better for myself. Not for anyone else this time. I do have a history of completely ignoring myself to do things for other people. And being in my current position in life right now, I have all the time to focus on bettering myself. I'm still a long ways ahead, but I know that with perseverance, I'll get there. Due to the decisions I have made in the past, I have deprived myself of many things. All those decisions, have led my life to a delay in so many aspects. And due to recent events that took place in my life, I was enlightened of the fact that I am in desperate need of improvement. Sadly, I had to learn that the hard way. But I'm glad and thankful that at least somehow, through loss I have gained something. No pain, no gain. I guess.
(I lost my wallet. Life takes what I can't throw away myself. Again.)
Also, I'm currently in the process of reacquiring lost pieces of identification I had in my wallet. I lost it along with certain important credentials. But nothing too serious and I did make the necessary phone calls to prevent identity theft. Although, I had lost no money at all, I will need some time to complete reacquisition of those IDs. The wallet was a gift. For a little bit, I was disappointed that I have lost it. But I know it's about time I replace it anyway. Right now, my wallet is so light it's unbelievable. I still need to stop being lazy and get these done.
Moving on is a simple thing, what we leave behind is hard. This is a line from Megadeth's 'A Tout Le Monde' song. And it speaks the truth. I'd like to think that after the years that have passed, I have finally healed from my loss and that I am more than ready to finally start considering getting a girlfriend. In fact, I had my eyes on quite a few people. But something occur to me that made me realize something very discouraging. I'm not exactly sure how serious I really am in finding someone. It's almost as if a secondary thing to me. And it used to be my main goal. I suppose the definition and value of love just crashed for me that I finally developed the testicular fortitude to care more about other things for the first time in my life. I used to believe that love is the greatest thing in this world. But now, when I ask myself the question of what it is to me. I don't even know the answer. I may have become more obsessed about bettering myself than actually pursuing what I've always wanted. But what can we do? People change. And it seems I have too. Not exactly sure if it's for the better, but I do know I will be way less vulnerable if I just don't lose sight of balance in my life. After all, too much of anything is poison. And if I let myself become that romantic once again, I risk fully fucking myself up for good. I can't have that. It's quite a dilemma, really. I dated someone last time, thinking that I'll just be with her for sex. But I couldn't do it. I suppose, regardless of how much I try to be insensitive and a bastard, my old self still wins the battle for morale. Damn, I can't be an asshole.
(Back to playing more on my Playstation 3. Even subscribed to PS PLUS.)
I'm back to playing on my Playstation 3 again. After a very long irregular activity on PSN, I'm finally playing more and more there with friends than being a PC gamer with Diablo III. I'm actually a bit disappointed of how the game turned out in thr end. But still, I liked it and I know it's a great game. There's just some aspects of it that made it less enjoyable after a while. Too bad and it's quite a shame. I still login from time to time to play for a bit. But it feels much more of a grind or work than entertainment to me. And you can't enjoy that type of feeling when you get on a game expecting to have fun. So now, back to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 with my brothers and friends. And I'm playing some other games as well. I even subscribed to Playstation PLUS.
That would be it for the meantime. I'll write some more later.
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