Californinja

An aunt from my father's side of the family just contacted me a couple of months back. I was a bit surprised because I didn't think I'd ever hear from her again. Although she has shown great support back when I was young by sending me great things like toys, clothes and other stuff, I didn't really feel any familial connection to her. But then again, she was in California and I was in the Philippines. I think it's completely understandable. Besides, I haven't been really formally acquainted with any of my relatives on my father's side of the family. She's the only one I 'know' from that side and I'm completely fine with it.

She has given me so much when I was younger. Like I said, I received toys and a lot of other great things that no other child in my family have experienced nor possessed. It made me feel quite special and different. I knew she was supposed to be my father's sister. But in all honesty, I didn't really know her. And I still don't. Hell, I don't even know my own father. But it doesn't change the fact that she is family and I am thankful for everything she has given me. And to just acknowledge me as her brother's son is already quite a bit to me. Given that if I'm not mistaking, my mother and father were never married. At least this is what I have been led to believe. And if I'm not mistaking, I have brothers from another woman. Whatever the case may be, all that really matters is that I have my mother and she is my family. I know that much and it's all I need to know.

However, I intend to make her tell me everything she knows about my father. And to personally thank her for everything she had given and done for me. Because after this, I don't really know when or if I'd ever see her again. I don't really need to know how my father died. But I feel the need to learn about how he lived. I'm sure there's quite a bit I could find out from her aside from tid bits of stories from my mother. But also, I am not pressed to really know more. I have survived this long with so less knowledge of him. I believe I could live the rest of my life knowing nothing more than just our faces looking very much alike.

(I'll be flying once again. I wish I didn't have to go alone though.)

She said I could stay for as long as I want. But all I really need is a few hours of her time. Just enough for her to tell me everything she could about my father. I would very much rather not take too much of her time and stay too long where she resides. I know I am family, but that doesn't mean I could just stay there like I knew her for so long. I still have this lingering feeling of being a stranger and I'm sure it's just normal. After all, I am indeed not that familiar with any of them. I have their family name, but I really don't know what it means to be part of that family.

I just kinda wished I didn't have to go fly by myself again. But I suppose this is something I must do on my own. Again.