Believing in Words

I was doing some dusting and organizing on my desk since my PC was out for repairs and parts installation. One more time that my friend have worked on my computer. And I'm very thankful for his friendly gesture of fixing up my PC and expecting nothing in return. Although, I have insisted that I repay him somehow. I should probably take him and his GF out for lunch or dinner one time. Yeah, I might just do that.

That afternoon, I have stumbled upon a lot of things that I suppose I refrained from ever seeing again. Like letters, drawings and other things. In fact, I have acquired some boxes where I have hidden certain items that I felt like I should never see again. But the thing is, why can't I just throw them away? Do I really want to forget or I somehow unconsciously trying my best to always remember? I am a man of absolute uncertainty. In some aspects of my life, at least.

I took some photos of the things I have found that day. They were mostly covered in dust. It showed how long it has been since the last time I have come into contact with them. These things brought back great memories. Happy memories. Heh, I too have loved. And I loved with all my heart. It's been something that I greatly valued in this life. I'd like to think that love is the best thing this world has to offer anyone. I believed that whole heartedly. However, it is quite unfortunate that I seem to question that notion nowadays. Things change, people change, I suppose.

(By the way, you mean the world to me...)

People will always say what they felt and thought. And in several cases, they'd even say things that they don't really mean, unintentionally or on purpose. it is almost infinitely unreliable to believe in some things that come out of people's mouths. But a lot of times, believing is so much easier and often times, we even find ourselves being so certain that they don't really mean some things but we just smile and act like we know exactly what they mean. I too have said a lot of things. And I meant most of it. At least each time I was being romantic and expressing myself to a loved one. And all those times it seems that I've been the only one that really kept his words, meant what he said and stood by them with absolution. I too have loved, however, I too have been betrayed. I hold no grudges to any of them. In fact, I thank all of them for teaching me so much. I have learned from love, loss, heartache and sorrow. And I'd like to think that somewhat they have made me a stronger and wiser individual. Perhaps a bit broken than before, but with more wisdom under his belt.

Will I ever believe in what a girl would tell me again? Will I ever be serious with love or girls again? And will I ever think of love the way I used to again? Not really sure. Wish I knew the answer. But I sure hope I am given the chance or opportunity to find these things out.