Ninjas Don't Have Birthdays

It seems not only did I lose someone dear to me that month of October, but I also shed something that was a part of me. Aside from my heart.

I stopped celebrating my birthday ever since that slightly dim morning. In an attempt to devour everything about myself that I deemed corrupted and weak, it appears to be that my date of birth got consumed in the process. Not sure why. The reason as to why I have decided to forget my birthday, is still quite a mystery to myself. Though, I have this idea, this notion, that perhaps it was all because in my head, I thought it was part of my past. And the past, I must let go. In order to move forward and be stronger. In mind and in body. To celebrate my birthday was to celebrate the past. And it completely would go against my campaign to suppress the past and any memory of it.

I'd always say, 'Ninjas don't have birthdays'. Just to poke fun of something unusual that I have decided to do for myself. I love celebrating other people's birthdays, but not mine. For some reason, it never felt something special to me. But when it comes to others, I enjoyed it quite a bit. And I was always happy for them.

(Was never a big fan of celebrating my own birthdays.)

The truth of the matter is, I've had awesome birthdays before. At least they were, based on my own standards of what 'awesome' is supposed to be. And maybe unconsciously, I don't want the best birthday I had to be replaced w/ another amazing celebration. And so I refused to acknowledge the other dates that came after. Ugh, that sounds quite fucked up... Pardon the language.

In any case, I am not hiding my birthday. I'm just forgetting it. And I'm glad my brothers and friends respect that.

(Ninjas don't celebrate birthdays.)