I stood there, in tears. Without a word, without any idea what to do.
It was silent... peaceful. Quite a calming atmosphere, really. But regardless of how much I've felt so empty and hollow, at the same time, I was almost driven insane by some sort of inner storm made of... made of shadows.
Stirred and in conflict, I stood there watching. And behind me was a house--a really nice house. It was almost like the kind of house we dreamed of having someday. It wasn't my kinda thing, but she wished for it and I agreed. Because I... love(d) her.
In front of me where two dogs.
One white and the other black. They both had red collars. And they played around, having quite some fun.
It was quite a sight to see. Just remembering it now kinda makes me slightly... happy. It used to, at least. Now it's just plain and downright bitter sweet.
Beside me, on my right, there was a little girl.
She held my hand, and I held hers. And in her other hand, she held a small teddy bear. It was ms. D. Heh, she named all the stuffed animals I've gotten for her. Ms. D... 'D' for Dream. I remember that very moment I gave her that thing. She lit up like a beautiful Goddess that just woke up.
(I remember it like it was yesterday...)
So, we were all there. The dogs, the house and this little child.
She looked clueless ad to what was really happening. The dogs were even more oblivious.
Unfortunately, I was the only one who knew what was taking place. Heh, I was the only one who knew what would came to be, as a matter of fact...
In front of all of us, Seaira stood there. Facing us. Away from us.
She stood there looking at us, almost with tears in her eyes. Almost. We looked at each other... and despite how blurry and misty the whole place was, I remember pretty damn well the look in her eyes. And sometimes, I wake up in the morning and it's the first thing in my mind.
We were there. For a while. And how I wished so hard for that moment to never end. But everything that has a beginning, has an end. And the end, luckily would be a good one. Or unfortunately, a bad one. Just like a book, there will come a final chapter. And the book will eventually end. Regardless of how much we wish for things to be different, we have no choice but to deal with the ending we get. We live with it. We die with it.
She turned her back on me and walked away.
She turned her back from the dogs, from the kid and from the house. These things weren't even my idea. She wanted them and so I encouraged her and I agreed. Each step she took away from us hurt more than any of the pains I have dealt with in my life. These wounds never healed. These scars constantly bled. I stitched them and I bandaged them just so I can hurt myself even more due to corruption from within.
The place got cloudier and more blurry than ever. She kept walking and the whole damn place kept becoming more difficult to make out.
The last thing I remember was that the kid started crying. And the dogs started howling. The house behind us turned... gray. I still stood there trying to never lose sight of her. I wanted to savour that last few moments that I'd get the luxury of seeing her. She started disappearing into the blur far ahead...
And then I woke up in my bed...
No comments:
Post a Comment