It was finally Saturday. I've been anxiously waiting for it. And I was glad that the day has finally come and I will get to see her. Even if it's just for a little bit. It was an occasion to me. And to her, probably just a forced rendezvous with someone she most likely was just too nice to turn down. Either way, it was something I've looked forward to and I was happy to find myself rushing to get ready because I only had half an hour to get to where we were supposed to meet. And I got there 5 minutes late. She was later than that, but I didn't mind.
(I always liked giving flowers)
We sat for coffee. What she ordered was different from the one we first had. I am not exactly familiar with Starbucks so I would usually just order the same thing she was having for two reasons: I wanted to see what she liked and I didn't really mind what to drink since I'm open to new things. After all, I've always just ordered medium coffee/mild each time I passed by at the usual Second Cup or Café Depôt I always go to.
I asked her how she was and made sure that I let her talk more this time around. I've always felt that in past meetings, I seemed to have talked more and listened less. I aim to know her more and more, by slowly letting her know what kind of person I am. So this time around, I sat and listened more. And I believe I have succeeded in that goal this time. She talked about school and work, among other things. I paid attention and I looked her in the eyes. As much as I could. Because I knew that I might not see her again for a very long time. I know she's busy. I know she just doesn't have time for someone like me. And I know even if she did, I probably wasn't worth it anyway. To some extent, these claims can be justified by a lot of the things I've come to realize during the past week or two of observations. It's sad, but it's the truth. And the truth can sometimes be... well. Not the happiest thing to slap us in the face.
Time was ticking. I felt like it wasn't enough. I wished we had more time and I wished we talked more often.
But some wishes just don't get granted for many reasons.
I told her that I was about to do something that she might not like. But I was hoping she would appreciate it. She was puzzled a bit. But it was clear in the end that she was more worried than curious. She told me whatever it is, 'No touching'. It was funny to me at first but she explained that the last time a guy told her something similar, it didn't end well. And I suppose the guy did something unacceptable. It was downright apparent that she really just doesn't know me. Well, we don't really know each other that much at all. It's the truth. I bump on to her a little bit when we're walking and I say, "sorry". For me to try something stupid is quite out of character and frankly is just not me at all. I told her not to worry. And that in fact, it would be the farthest thing away from touching since I won't even be there when it happens.
I thanked her for making time and for sitting down for some coffee with me. She replied with statements regarding her busy schedule at school.
We parted ways and I walked away.
(This is the first time I've done this and I was slightly nervous)
I found myself standing inside a flower shop. I don't even remember when was the last time I entered such an establishment. The feeling was unusual and quite reminiscent. Neither was it sad nor joyful. Not exactly sure what was going on in my mind when I suddenly felt the urge to step into this store filled with colorful flowers. Though one thing was certain, I wanted a bouquet delivered to someone I know. Or at least, someone I'm trying to get to know more.
She probably doesn't like flowers. I asked her back then and she replied with, 'They die'. I suppose she really didn't say she hated them. I talked to the clerk and learned that they are not able to conduct deliveries since she was the only one in the store that day. I was bummed at first but then I really wanted it to happen that day. So I just told her I'll just MAN UP and bring her the flowers instead. So she prepared the order and I willingly paid for them despite my dangerously low funds. I didn't care. I wanted to do it for her and if I have to eat a huge breakfast and skip lunches for the next week or two, so be it.
For some reason, I was feeling a bit cheerful. And I felt like doing something out of the ordinary and just plain spontaneous. So I asked the girl at the flower shop if she had any extra aprons. She said no at first, but shortly after she came out from the back with an extra one for me to wear. I removed my coat, my scarf and left her my bag. I wore the green apron and smiled at her. I said thanks and I was on my way to bring the roses I have paid for. Long story short, I got to the place where she worked and waited a little bit before I could hand her the flowers because she was serving a client. She smiled and gave me one of those hugs where people bump cheeks together. The actual name for such an act eludes me. I told her to take care and that I thought she said 'no touching'. She laughed a bit and I said goodbye.
I left my place that day not thinking I'd be dressing up as a flower delivery guy. I knew I wanted to get her flowers but I wasn't expecting to hand them to her myself. I got to the café to study a bit before I was supposed to meet up with my brothers. One of the acquaintances I have on Twitter posted this as soon as I got there: To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. To which I replied: Today, I did something I've never done before. Hopefully, I'll get that something I wish to have.
I sent her a message saying that I hope she didn't mind the gesture. And that I hope she has a vase. I wished her a great day and I left her alone.
I haven't heard from her ever since.
Nice drop, NiNja. But unfortunately, negative effect.
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