The chill in the air still is cold as steel. A couple of times this week, I have found myself walking to school or home with my face and ears frozen. But my scarf did quite an outstanding job keeping my neck warm enough during those occasional walks outside. And my hands are just fine inside my coat pockets. I should get myself winter gloves. But enough talk about the weather. Let's get a move on shall we?
I've sort of built a habit of coming to work a bit earlier just so I can have time to either eat breakfast or get myself a cup of warm green tea latte at Starbucks. There's a Café Depôt there as well, but after I was introduced to how good Starbucks coffee is, I've decided to throw the extra dollars for a nicer coffee experience.
The other day, I passed by at the usual location and for the first time, the barista asked me for a name to put on the cup. I didn't want to use my real name and I thought I'd mix it up a bit this time. The first thing that came to my mind was... well... Dr. Awesome. She laughed and I just went along with it. Then I got my order and realized she didn't really put the whole name. Instead, she just wrote, 'DR.'. I figured that perhaps long names were frowned upon because shorter ones are easier and faster to write. So I let it go but of course wished that my cup had the name I provided. But it was no big deal. I was in a good mood and thought I'd be funny a bit. I came back one more time and she put the name again, but didn't really spell the name properly. It was funny and it reminded me of when Metallica had a sheet stand that had 'METLLICA' on it or James Hetfield's guitar with the 'Eet Fukk' letterings on the body.
Then today, I come back and when the guy at the cash register asked me for the name, sure enough, it ended up under the same handle. Except this time, I didn't have to say it. It's good that somehow they remembered me. It's funny and it gives me another reason to smile in the morning when I go to work. And this time, the guy did spell the word correctly.
(Dr. Awesome | Legendary!!!)
After I got my coffee, I decided to rush home and just get out of my attire and relax for a bit before I start my other planned tasking for the remainder of the day. I saw a black lady carrying a stroller for her child, and the child was going down the stairs beside her without anyone holding her. I knew immediately what to do and I asked the lady in two languages if she needed help while grabbing the front of the stroller already. She didn't refuse and I continued to help her. But the little kid starting whining and probably think that I was taking away her ride or something. But her mother comforted her and assured her that it was okay. We made our way down the staircase with her mother holding her hand and the stroller, with me in the front controlling the speed of our decent. And we made it at the bottom without a problem. She thanked me and I walked away glad to have helped even if it's just a little bit. It feels good even if it's nothing huge. (That's what she said. Awwww yeeee~)
Work's been okay. This week has been a bit busier for me, I supposed because I'm performing other tasks that were unknown to me during the first week. I've learned quite a bit and I hope to learn more and perfect the ones I already know. Though, there were several minor hiccups this week. It seems my mind has been a bit away from where it was supposed to be during several instances. I've been doing a bit of thinking regarding some matters and I suppose it distracts me away from the matters at hand. I need to stay frosty and learn how to separate my heart from my mind. This is good practice. I need this.
People have been nice to me so far and I hope that I continue to do well. I understand that I am still under probation and at any given time, they can easily let me go. I wouldn't complain, but at the same time, I'd like to stay for a bit longer before I have to part ways with them. I am enjoying my stay and having fun with the learning process. I just need to stay focused and make sure I make the right decisions.
(I-Ching | 63rd Hexagram)
School's fine. Nothing new to report/write about at all. I have some workload to take care of tomorrow before my RV. I intend to get a good chunk of that done and over with, if not finally complete them. I have plans tomorrow and a part of it is still something I'm contemplating whether I should execute or not. A part of me screams no and that it's unnecessary. But a part of me also whispers about doing what I feel is right and what my heart believes. I have the night to decide and tomorrow to finally make a choice. In the end, I understand that I have nothing to lose and that if the gesture is not appreciated, then I will have to just accept it and let go. It's a bit difficult to hold back. But I have made the extra effort to be certain that I am constantly reminded of balance and harmony. I've made a lot of wrong decisions because of my absolutions and reckless sentimental tendencies. I am learning to find balance and I'm eager to respect harmony. Because I feel like only when I've followed that discipline will I finally make the right decisions and avoid disappointments or pain caused by my impulsiveness and doing things to the extreme. I intend to remind myself of these, even if that means I have to put ink on my right arm.
Hmm, this paragraph was totally not about school at all. Again.
Training has been an activity that I haven't really put a lot of time into. I promised myself that I'd take it more seriously this year and actually push myself more to exert more effort into toning and cutting. I've gained noticeable changes on my chest, shoulder and biceps. I am surely getting a bit of shape, but not entirely sure if I'm gaining mass. I suppose I don't eat as much, or at least not eat enough that my body has extra calories to allocate into gaining mass. I should eat more and continue what I'm doing. I mean, I don't plan on being friggin' huge. I just want to be a bit toned and get rid of my love handles. Love would be nice, but I definitely don't need the handles. I will have to focus on cardio as well. Something I have been ignoring.
I may have pulled something from last session. But at the same time, I'm thinking that perhaps I just slept in a bad position and now that part of my arm is hurting a bit. I'll deal with it and I'm sure it will disappear soon. No problemo. I was supposed to train tonight. But I got home and was instantly dragged into contributing to clan challenges. It's all good. I haven't been playing and it's good to have a little bit of fun with clan mates. I do miss playing with them.
Because of my current employment, I find myself dressing up a bit differently the majority of the time now. And I'm kinda liking it. Though sometimes, I see myself in the mirror and think that the man before me has changed. I mean, I did change. We all do and we will always change. Of course, there are aspects of our personalities that will never ever change. And there are parts of our lives we want to better and other parts we believe to be more than just fine exactly the way they are. The wristband was the last remaining thing I have worn all this time to remind me of what and how I used to be. Now, I just see it on my desk. I still wear them from time to time. But not as often anymore. My hair is no longer past my shoulders, no more ripped jeans, chains and destroyed Converse. Although I still wear them, but cleaner looking ones. No more band shirts that exhibited my favorite metal groups. Now I wear shirts and vests, dress pants and shoes. if my old self saw me today, he'd either be proud or really terrified.
But the physical appearance is just a shell. I can dress like a king and still be the same person. I did change a lot. And most of these changes were involuntary. Some were made on purpose towards becoming a better person. My past was not the best, but I'm happy to have them. I did not have some of the luxury that a lot of people possessed. But I'm glad that things happened the way they did and I am now a person who has good qualities as an individual, in mind and heart. Of course I'm not the best. Of course I ain't perfect. But I'm proud to be someone who is not deserving of the label: asshole.
Back on topic, I've changed quite a bit. The way I dress, the way I act or behave and the way I see some of the things in life. We all undergo these changes, sooner or later. We can only hope that the changes we choose or allow ourselves to go through, are for the better. Not for the worse.
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