Next year is the year of the snake in the Chinese zodiac system. It isn't my actual zodiac sign, but I have a very relative attraction to the snake or at least the idea of being a snake. Its significance to my life may not be very applicable at all, if not inexistent, however. I just find it very appealing to adopt as an emblem for stealth and silence, unseen until it strikes. I remember running a camouflaged black and red snake in Call of Duty: Black Ops. It was a nice snake emblem. I threw a few tiger outlines on top of it to create the pattern/camouflage. It looked cool, at least to me. Now that I'm hitting Prestige 5 in Call of Duty: Black Ops II, I feel like I can finally sort of relive and acquire that same emblem. But it's not the same. So I intend to stop at that Prestige Rank, just because of that emblem.
(The snake is a creature I can relate to.)
So, what are my plans for 2013? I do have a resolution. Well, I have resolutions. I have a couple that I have in mind. The main one will have to be about my education. I have fallen behind from what I feel like the life I could've had if only I did not waste all those years associating myself with the wrong people. I have no one else to blame but myself. I understand that I did exactly what I wanted at the time and to have regrets won't really correct nor fix the damages that have been dealt. All I need to focus on is finding the path and pushing through to obtain the achievements one step at a time. Slowly but surely, though as fast as I can. If that makes any sense? I will be finishing the remaining courses I need early next year. I am registering for the next semester next month, and I intend to be diligent and productive this time around. So yeah, my education is the primary objective for next year. After the remaining credits, I'll see if I can devote some time for University studies. Maximum I can afford to study more would be 3 years. Anything longer than that might be too much. If not, programs that would open up career opportunities for me are great options as well. I just need to figure out what I want to do or would be better off doing.
And as for secondaries, I have a few. First off, I think given the amount of funds available to me, I want to move myself and my mom to a bigger and better place. That means I need to study harder and work harder. I want to be financially capable and help my mother more. I have come to realize that my biggest downfall is my inability to be a financially reliable person. I'm kind, nice, sweet, romantic and all of those sappy qualities that make up a nice person. But I need to be more than those and to say that money doesn't matter is just downright superficial. It does matter and life has proven that to me more than two times already. I need to make bank. Sadly, it is the exact opposite of what I've always wanted to do in life. But that's the reality and the reality of the fact is we all need financial stability in order to survive and provide.
(It's about time I stop moping around.)
Another resolution I have decided to execute involves my love life. I feel like it's about time I start finding someone again. It's been almost 3 years since the last time I've been with a girl. The first year was unbearable. The second year was all about seeing the scar and remembering how it got there. And the remaining months leading up to now were just days and nights filled with slight anguish and depression for the things that could've happened if things did not end the way they did. But as time went by, the pain subsided and the tears ran dry. The scars will be there to teach me a lesson. And the lessons were learned the hard way. I will not be broken again and I will never be superficial either. I have ignored harmony and my heart paid for it. But the past is the past and my efforts to move on have come to fruition. Life is short and life is hard. I don't know if there's someone out there for me. Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. A friend told me last week that my next girlfriend will be a very lucky woman. Maybe she's right about that. I don't really know. But one thing I'm more than certain of is that I've learned from the past and the past will help me be a better partner for the next person that shares my life, my story. It's sad that things had to go the way they did. But they have thought me a lot about myself. I learned to control my strengths as a lover. And I've been enlightened to the weaknesses I possessed. In the end, I crashed and burned. But from the ashes of my own demise I rise with a promise that I will be better. Way better. The search is on. For the first time. I'm not just gonna wait, I'll be on the pursuit this time around.
Training my body and eating better is something I'd like to improve on as well. I started doing it later this year. But it was quite inconsistent and I lacked the discipline to earn solid results from my efforts. In fact, I think that's what I really lack: discipline. My laziness has cost me a lot of grief. It's something I need to devour and finally get rid of. Unless it's Sunday, I like Lazy Sundays...
But yes, I plan on exerting more effort to devote to training and paying attention to what I eat. I've been cautious of my sugar intake. That's there, at least.
The upcoming year is going to be a busy one for me. I've grown up but I am behind the things I should've been done and established with already. But I know it's still not too late. I still have time and I can't waste anymore of it. I need to make things happen and to push through. I just need to always remember and never forget the goals and the dreams I have for myself and for my future. The word 'future' is a big one. But the reality is it's not so far away. It is there within the next 7 years or so. Where do I see myself in 7 years? If I'm not at least engaged, then at least I want to be living alone with more than enough money to have a GF and to help my mom, have a vehicle and just live life as an independent bachelor. Assuming I still end up single, which is very likely and I'm not gonna discard that possibility. In short, my resolution is all about living comfortably. And it will happen. I promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment