The 63rd I Ching Hexagram

It was almost as if my entire life has been nothing but a continuous cycle of glorious victories followed by tragic endings. As soon as I start getting used to how great everything is, I fall and end up basking in my own lament of failure. It was amusing at first how I'd be the happiest man alive, then the next thing I know, I don't even know if I'm growling or crying. This unforgiving cycle has yielded myself nothing but bitter sweet memories and a weakened drive to move forward. But of course, because of my defeats, I have learned quite a ton of things as well.

I'm not a bad person. But I'm not a saint either. I have done my fair share of terrible feats caused by reckless decisions. Though if I have done something unforgivable, it is purely unintentional. That I can safely say without a stain of a doubt.

And because of all the failures and pain I have encountered in my life, unfortunately... I have established a sort of process as to how I will have to deal with the outcome of a story left with an unpleasant ending. And that is, logically, to correct my mistakes, learn from them and never do them again. Better myself to the point where if I have to shed parts of myself, may it be good or bad, if it meant I'd be a wiser, stronger and generally a better individual. And that is how I adapted the last name, 'Ouroboros'.

(A Dragon eating its own tail: Ouroboros)

A lot of other things I have realized and have come to understand about myself. It seems that if I loved, I loved too much. If I enjoyed a job, I took things to a personal level and it messed with me. Little things done by people I consider friends became such big deals because I couldn't bare the thought of them being able to do such feats and it devastated me. I've lost a few friends because of that. But I have no regrets. I have done what I always thought was right and I wouldn't change a thing.
Too much of anything is poison. My grand father told me that. And later on, after more than a decade, I have been enlightened with the help of his words. It made it clear to me what kind of person I am, or was...
And I needed a sort of control, self-control. My life needed balance and harmony. I can't keep giving things or people my all to the point I take everything else for granted. Or in some cases, my efforts are not appreciated nor valued as much as I treasured others.

I wanted to get a tattoo of the Ouroboros symbol. But I didn't want to just go online and find a design and have it inked on my skin. I wanted to design my own and I still do. But something came up. Something happened and it fascinated me.

After doing a bit of research concerning the tattoo I saw of Storm Shadow from G.I. Joe, I learned that it was one of the I Ching Hexagrams. And that it is the number 63 symbolizing water over fire. In essence, balance or harmony.

(A reminder to always keep balance and harmony.)

The research regarding the I Ching 63rd Hexagram has led me to learn so much about myself. From the faults I may have committed in the past to the things I probably should do from now on. The divination of these lines established a connection and understanding I have been very oblivious about regarding my own self. And I'm glad I took the initiative to find out more about the lines I saw in a character's forearm.

I'm not a very big fan of G.I. Joe at all. In fact, I've only seen the Hollywood movie, a few episodes from the 90's and the G.I. Joe RESOLUTE animated movie. So this isn't about being a fan of G.I. Joe at all. Essentially, I saw the tattoo and decided to do a research on it since I've been meaning to get one for quite some time now. And what I learned stunned me, the next thing I know, I've made my decision to get the tattoo.

(Storm Shadow in G.I. Joe: RETALIATION)

What it is to me is a reminder. A reminder of what I have to keep in mind with everything I do in my life. Based on what my grand father also told me back then, I need to find self-control to avoid unpleasant results with the things I do. Control is necessary to find balance in harmony. Without it, everything eventually crumbles into nothing but pain and sorrow. If I could learn to control emotions, impulsiveness and other bad moves that plagued my past, I shall hopefully find the harmony in life that I deserve.

(With my SoW brothers: Pyro and Rogue)