The weather's been cold lately. The summer time is indeed over and we are faced with cold nights and the occasional rain. I've always been fond of the Fall season, along with Spring. I don't mind Winter at all, though I'm not a big fan of the streets getting a bit muddy. Summer is always good. I've placed an order for a zip-up hoodie from TheLees and waiting for it to come. I'll be using that as my Fall jacket along with the 2 white ones I have. I am yet to acquire something I could use and abuse for Winter though. But I have time to work on that. It's already September. Where did the time go? Time does fly. And it's only Madonna who thinks "time goes by so slowly".
Speaking of time... the year is coming to an end. It seems like it was just yesterday when the year had only begun and I felt like this might be a good year for me. And it has been quite a blast, so far. Granted some things didn't turn out the way I wished for them to, it's safe to say that there were some really significant and great things that have come to pass this year so far. And I'm thankful for them.
I'm running out of time. And I have set some goals for myself within the next 3 years. This is the first year, and I intend to at least get 2 of the more important goals achieved and completed before the end of the year. I must find the determination and encouragement I desperately need and stop being lazy. So far, so good. But I am a bit behind. There's nobody there to kick my ass. So I gotta do it to myself. Perhaps by next year, I'd be able to either have an apartment, or have a vehicle. Perhaps, I do have school funding issues I still have not figured out. But it's a matter I will have to face by the end of this year.
The lack of communication and my realization about of my female friends have led me to make some alterations to my plans for next year. I don't think I'll be dropping by Arizona anymore. And I'm not sure either if I'd be seeing my aunt in California either. I'm thinking maybe I'll just save the money and use it to fund my plans. Do something for myself. I do wish to see my aunt and ask her questions about my father. But I'll have to evaluate my financial situation and determine whether I'd proceed next year or not. But for now, I'll keep saving up and try not to spend on useless shit.
I've been conducting a sort of experiment on myself. Unfortunately, I cannot disclose the nature of the test/exercise. Let's just say it's a test I am putting myself into in an attempt to make myself emotionally stronger. If I could just keep contact and keep my distance while feeling the way I do, perhaps I can teach myself... perhaps I can endure. I know there's no way we'd ever be, so I might as well use this sad reality and make something of it to benefit me. Though sometimes reality hurts. But it is what it is. And I've come to be less emotional about things. Not sure if that's for the better. But it's a road that leads to less pain and disappointment. She does not know I'm doing this. But it's not like I'm hurting anyone. So I don't see anything wrong with my endeavor. I hope that in the end, this experiment will help me in a positive way.
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