Once again, it took me quite some time before I was able to finally make time for writing an entry to this blog. I suppose I have been a bit busy with other things. Things that involved mainly work, studies, video games and friends. Not that I find it a shame, but I just kinda wished I wasn't too lazy to write. But that's one of my weaknesses that I am yet to fully get rid of.
A lot of things have taken place since the last SitRep. A lot of good things and a few bad things. Not that the bad things were terrible, but the good things were indeed great. Without further ado, I'll tackle as many subjects as I could.
Wat Up?!
Work seems to be getting better. I find that I have a little bit more confidence with the way I perform at the workplace and have a better understanding of the routine involved in the tasks that I do. I get along with pretty much everyone with the exception of a few people that I just really have a very easy time with and could actually joke around them comfortably. I'm glad that things are going well and I'm happy that my manager gave me a few more months as extension to my probation period. Perhaps she either needs me until June or maybe she knows I have the potential to be better and that I just need some time. Whichever the case may be, I'm thankful that she has given me more time and for being patient with me.
I actually got her to "Bro Fist" me last week. It was pretty awesome and was actually slightly awkward. But awesome nonetheless!
Oh Canada...
I passed the exam that I thought I would fail. I sat down for the test and realized I did not study enough for it. But in the end, I emerged successful in guessing enough correct answers and was able to get a decent mark. At least, way better than what I expected to obtain. I'm currently going through the last book for this course. I'll be sure to be more prepared and consistent with my study sessions this time around. I took too much time with the last book and I just can't believe how much time I wasted. I gotta be more disciplined and understand the things that are stake for my laziness. It's one thing to be aware of your mistakes, and another to actually know what to do to avoid them.
I normally go to a Starbucks to study. But lately I have been finding the shops to be packed with no room for me to sit down. And so I walked around and stumbled upon this Thai Express near work. It seemed to be a quiet place and I have never seen it crowded at all. I could get a booth to myself by the window overlooking a Starbucks across the street. I may have found the right place for me. I can also order fried tofu which is a pretty good and healthy food to snack on while studying.
Charlie Hotel
A couple of days ago, I dreamed about her. I woke up that morning asking myself why. I mean, from time to time she'd cross my mind. Still. But I'm not exactly sure why my mind made me dream of her that morning. Things didn't really end the way I wished for them to between us. And perhaps it was all my fault. I felt belittled, disappointed and lied to. I ended up saying some things that were at the time of writing it, were in logical context. But unfortunately, it was reported to her at a later date and it appeared to be more terrible than it was supposed to be. I guess it was my fault for saying something thinking that she'd never talk to me again. Then suddenly she did right after I thought she decided never to talk to me again. Though I have questions that may never be answered and things I wanted to say that I feel like are not really necessary anymore. In the end, I always thought there was nothing to end. There really wasn't. There was no her and I. There was nothing between us. There was just me sending flowers every Wednesday and texting her in the morning. I didn't know there was something more to us than that. So I was surprised when I made the mistake of supposedly ending things through text. I guess I made a bad decision and thought I'd save everyone the time by not really seeing her anymore after that night I made a friend tell me everything he knew. I usually don't talk to people about personal things, but when I do, I can make them tell me what I wanna hear. And what I heard was exactly what I needed to hear. Sadly.
Fishes in the Sea
2013 has been good to me so far. Lotsa great things have happened. And despite the few bad things, I managed to keep my head up and move forward with my plans and be a happier person. Though I can't say that I am completely happy, I'm glad to at least know that I am no longer a sad person. Things with girls have not worked out for me twice this year so far. I'm not exactly happy about it, but I am pretty proud of myself to actually try and finally attempt to find someone. I've wasted years moping around being sad when all the while I could've been spending those times being awesome. Mistakes were made, no point regretting now. What matters is I keep my chin up and be hopeful that one of these days I'll find that someone. And hopefully, find what I have been looking for. There were some girls that made a mistake by giving me a chance. And there are those that made the mistake by not giving me that chance.
Kilo Mike
I told my brother that it was totally fine and he should not worry about it at all. I can understand his concern, shame and embarrassment for the incident. After all, if it was my significant other that did the exact same thing, I'd be utterly disappointed as well. But it was nothing to me. In the end, I felt like it actually helped me bring confirmation to something I've been wondering about but was just not certain if it was true or not. Perhaps it was really the alcohol that caused it, or maybe it wasn't. It doesn't really matter. I'm just glad it didn't lead to anything that could've been too controversial to the point where damages would be irreversible. I'm totally okay with what happened and I didn't even tell anyone about it. Not even Soulja who I know I can tell anything to. Scout asked what happened, but I looked outside the window of the vehicle staring at the sky and told him that it was nothing. Though, he claimed a couple of days later that he noticed something. To which I replied that it's nothing worth talking about. I chose not to disclose it to anyone. It's not a big deal and I have already forgiven. But like I've always been, I never forget. People can't make mistakes and give me a reason to have a bad impression of them. Because it sticks to me and I always remember it. That's why sometimes, I'd rather not hear anything bad about good people I know because it kind of ruins their image for me. But of course, it's way better to know the truth even though it would shock or disappoint you.
Ultimately, I love my brother and I wish him the happiness because I know he deserves it. Nothing has changed with the way I see him even after the incident.
I have a few more things to write about. Perhaps I'll do so tomorrow. For now, I hit the bed and look forward to another good day tomorrow.
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