Month 2 of this year. So far so good. Nothing terrible has happened yet. Not that I want something bad to happen, but I do my best to be ready for the worst. January was an excellent month, I must say. That's my month and I'm glad it treated me well this year. This month isn't over yet. And I'm still hoping that something extremely pleasant heads my way. Two more weeks before it's over, but I'm hopeful that somehow things will get even better. Not that I'm having a terrible month or anything. It's been quite nice, fun, exciting and gratifying. I'm spending my time with great people, meeting new good ones and having fun in life. So far, so good. Still trying to set my life back on track and work towards a brighter future. School's going okay and fairly easy. Can't wait to actually start studying things that interest me more. I will be able to soon enough.
Current employment's going well. I'm getting used to the procedures and tasks I was taught. Though there were some that I've done only once or twice that I still need to get used to in order for me to execute without any form of assistance. Things are getting easier and getting done faster because I'm used to them now. I just hope that I can do even better by the end of my probation period. People have been really kind and helpful. And I'm glad to have been given the opportunity to work there. It's very light work, nothing too difficult. And I get to dress nicely which is something I'm actually getting used to more and more. I love my Converse and jeans, but dressing nicer isn't too bad at all.
School is as always, not very exciting. But I try to have some fun and get to talk to people when I'm there. Nothing too difficult right now that I need an increased effort to study for, but I am aware that it's just the calm before the storm. I'm actually gonna have to sit down and be serious in preparation for a presentation. Nothing too difficult, but it's something that requires attention and time to complete. So I will have to get it done next week. I'm very confident that I'll finally be able to finish everything by April. And from there, I will just have to take prerequisites or perhaps start a program. I'll have to decide on it.
Due to the mistakes I've done in the past, I've delayed myself by about a year or two, maybe even more. But they say it's never too late. And I'm rushing now to get my life back on track and school's a fundamental part of it.
Met up with Richard today after work. The guy's been good to me since day 1 and even if we don't work together anymore, it's still great to see him from time to time and just talk. And I can sit there or stand there for hours just discussing things with this guy. He's one of those guys that make me rethink if I'm really nice because they're even way nicer. And it's good to associate yourself with people that are like that. He would tell me that I'm a nice dude. I know I am, but I always reply by saying that we both are. He's also one of those people that are not ashamed to admit how much they love their significant other. It's not something you see everyday and I respect him a lot for that. I don't know many people that are not afraid to show their romantic side as if it makes them less of a man. So mad props to him for that. And I wish him and his girlfriend the best this world has to offer.
We talked about a lot of things from Call of Duty to my current campaign to get to know this girl. I've shared quite a bit and was not afraid to disclose my issues and difficulties. Somehow he managed to encourage me and tell me to stay positive. I do my best and I understand where he's coming from. And it's good to hear words of encouragement from time to time because I've always been fucking alone on things. I'm not proud to admit it, but I get more encouragement from friends than my own mother or family. I've always been solo on things and had to kick my own ass to get things done. And when I failed, it seemed like I was discouraged or caused disappointment. It felt like I was discouraged more than I was encouraged, is what I'm saying. So when I get positive advice and tips even if they're things I already know, I truly appreciate them and take them into account when I'm thinking for myself. Things aren't easy sometimes and I'm not gonna pretend to be some super awesome heart hard as a rock kind of guy and say that I never get discouraged. But when things don't go your way and they don't seem to be getting better or anywhere, I think it's normal to get discouraged. But it's my will to continue and not give up is what keeps me going. He gave me some advice, some I knew already and some I did not. In the end, I came home a bit more confident and less down.
Speaking of her, I haven't seen her in a while. And it seems I won't be seeing her anytime soon to give this thing I have prepared for her. I'll keep it for now, I guess. Staying positive and looking at the bright side, at least I won't have to wait another day to find out if it's a yes or a no. I need to remember that at some point in my life, I wasn't even able to see someone I loved for months before I can finally be with her for only a week or two then be away from each other again. I'm not saying that I love this girl. But I do like her and I'm pushing through to get to know her. It almost feels like I'm forcing myself to her but she's just too nice to tell me that she doesn't like me. But at the same time, I understand that she wants to focus on her studies and jeopardizing that for a complete stranger like me is just not an overall intelligent decision. So I significantly cut my efforts to an extreme minimum in an attempt to establish a regular interaction without getting in the way of her studies. It's something new to me as a guy trying to get to know someone he likes. And I must admit, it's a bit difficult and discouraging. But at the same time, I want to give this a chance because there's a lot about her that I really like. Which is something I would like to write about one of these days. And I don't even know her that much. I'm a stranger to her, I keep telling myself that. I seem to always forget. But it's something I need to always remember. And like I mentioned in a past entry, if there's even a tiny chance that in the end I'll find what I've always wanted for in life with her, then Godfuckingdamn it I'll endure this and work my way up from being just a stranger to somebody more than just that.
Speaking of my mother, I have not spoken to her since before my birthday.
Not feeling that well right now. Maybe it's also because I have not eaten lunch yet and only had bread and eggs this morning. I'll go eat and distract my mind.
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