School's still boring as Hell. Though, it is getting slightly better compared to how it was in the beginning. I actually learn a few things here and there now. And I'm more eager to sit down and work on my assignments. Speaking of assignments, I will have to sit in a café tomorrow and work on progression and catch up on reading. I'm gonna submit a school work tomorrow right after work then come back home to get ready for a double sierra (study session) sortie. I normally go to a Second Cup, but if I'm feeling more serious, I'll hit the library. The assignments aren't really difficult. I just need to sit down and get them done. And I intend to get a good chunk of the work done this week. This I promise to myself.
In my effort to make things better for myself, I have gathered the motivation to finally finish my studies and hopefully get on a program that would give me an opportunity to work in a decent field. I'm not thinking of filthy rich or anything like that. But I wanna do my best to be in a position in life where I can afford to have my own place, buy my own food, own a dog and a car and still have enough cash to live comfortably and have nice things. In essence, just enough to be a comfortable bachelor. And if I manage to find a partner, then I will have to work harder to make sure I can be financially reliable. Which I am definitely not at the moment. But it's not like I need to be right now. Not an immediate concern, though still a notion I need to take in consideration and be prepared for.
Work seems to be going okay. I feel like I do better now with the tasks I have already learned. But there are some things that I wasn't taught yet in terms of the details behind their procedures, products and merchandising methods. I'm not pressured nor grieved either, which is a totally awesome thing. Compared to where I worked before, it was just ridiculous how much stressful it was compared to what I do now. I gotta thank her and PyroTech for getting me in. Maybe next time I see her, I'll state my appreciation. And as for Pyro, maybe I'll see this weekend. I'm still under the probation period which puts me in a very crucial situation. I'm not even worried about being late this time, I live 15 minutes away and I don't have to wake up until PM8 to be there early enough to sit down and drink coffee before starting. It seems like a real nice place to work and the people are quite kind towards me as well.
I didn't see her last Saturday and I don't think I'll see her again next week. But it's okay, I know she's busy and she's got more important matters to attend to. I just have to find the right balance between letting her know I'm here without bugging her too much and holding back with my distant efforts to sort of bridge the gap between being a stranger and a suitor. I do my best to limit the texts to a maximum of only once a week. It gets discouraging sometimes, but I've made myself aware of the things that make me lose hope. And acknowledged the facts to clear up any misconceptions and misunderstandings I had before. I've come to a conclusion of what the situation is, or what it could be, at least. I'm buried in uncertainties but I'll push through and see the end whatever it may be.
Though, I fear that perhaps there's already someone she likes better. If I gathered it correctly, there is someone who is an unofficial boyfriend to her. This intel is outdated and unconfirmed. Though the source was not very clear regarding the identification of this individual and provided no further details about their situation either. I don't see any reason why the informant would lie to me, and so I have concluded that:
a. I am not the only one interested in her at the moment. And if she has not told me to bug off, she's either still deciding which one she likes better or she's too nice to tell me off and just wants me to give up.
b. The informant was possibly referring to me. This is not my conclusion, but a friend's. There is no way in Hell that it could be this one, at least to me it's difficult to believe. If this is correct, then it's an extremely huge motivator for me.
c. Both possibilities are incorrect. And there's something more about the situation I fail to realize.
I'm hoping that it's the second. But I can't bring myself to elevate my hopes either. I get excited and happy when she says things. I do. But I only message her once a week. I do my best to make the most out of it though. Gotta be patient, Aron. You can do this. She's well worth it. You know that. Just wait and keep saying, "I'll be here".
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