Back to School: Day 14 [黄]

(The yellow rose is blooming beautifully, by the way. Really nice to look at in the morning)

She mentioned the yellow roses twice now. Once regarding its extended life and this time about its beauty and supposedly being nice to look at in the morning. I originally intended to only get her red roses. But it wasn't like we're together or anything like that. And all I really wanted and the reason why I send her flowers is just so I can make her smile even if I can't be there and hopefully remind her that I'm just here. So I went for a bouquet with multiple colors in it. It just so happens that she seems to like the yellow ones better. Or I think it is the case, at least. Maybe next time I pass by at the flower shop, I'll get the florist to put more of the yellow ones for her. If not, I'll go for a pure yellow bouquet.
I'm glad she likes them. Like I told her, it's unfortunate that I can't keep the roses from dying. But I will make sure to keep that vase full for her, at least.

I'll be seeing the flower shop again this weekend. I just have to hold on and be patient. And not lose hope.

I woke up to a shocking news this morning. Once again, someone I know that has been a very kind and respectful person towards me is in a life threatening crisis. And I don't know of anything I can do to keep it from happening. This kid is a very nice person and she has so much to do in this fucking planet. It makes me so sick that good people have to go through such experiences. I just can't keep myself from asking why. I am no stranger to good people having to go through difficult and undeserved experiences. But it doesn't make it any easier to understand. I mean, I can sort of understand. But I just can't accept the randomness of what life can throw at those that don't even deserve it.
People were wishing her luck and that they are there for her. It's true that they probably really care. And they're probably really sad too. But I care more about what we should do to find a donor that would match the bone marrow she requires for the transplant. I probably looked like a heartless bastard by not even saying I was sorry and that I was there for this kid. But I'm also more concerned about what we, as friends, could do. Not just say I'm sorry then just ignore it because I've done my share of making myself look like I care but in reality I probably don't. Our wishes won't help cure her.

I asked what we could do and what we actually need to search for a donor that will match what she requires for the bone marrow transplant. This kid doesn't deserve this bullshit. No kid does. I hope she makes it through this or I will end up fucking punching a panda in the face or something. She'll be staying at the hospital starting today. I hope all goes well and she receives the treatment/cure she needs.
This is fucking bullshit. I feel like I'm more upset than sad, really. She seems to be cheerful enough for someone who has a numbered existence. But I can understand that it must be a really scary place for her to be where she is right now. And imagine her parents too.