I actually completed the whole week without being absent. Awesome!
But then again, in the whole month that we've been in class, I have learned almost nothing. I'm just glad that we'll have the first set of tests by the end of the month and it will conclude 1/3 of the session. I can't wait to finally finish and get through with this. I'm confident that I'll pass but it requires a great deal of patience and a little bit of extra effort into making sure I complete the assignments and the required work load to pass the course. And I don't see myself having issues with that.
Last session for the week. The next three will be dedicated to reviews and the tests on Wednesday. I'm quite relaxed for now and I can even take it easy. I do know however, that the next 2 months won't be as a walk in the park. I might have to actually pay attention and stay frosty. But I'm good.
Today, I decided to finally clean up my old school bag that I've been using to carry my papers/documents. I dusted it a bit and made sure it was clean enough for use. I checked the pockets and found something funny. I opened up the smaller pockets inside and found 3 condoms! The expiry date says April of this year. So they're still good and I have a few more months before it's no longer advisable to be utilized. But I thought to myself that I have no girlfriend and no friend w/ benefits this time either. So there was no way I'd be able to use them before they expire... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!! (I joked about it to myself and on Instagram, but it is clear to me that I might as well just throw them away)
I purchased a box of them during my stay in Arizona. It was that month of February 2011 when the first Nuketown 24/7 took place. My clan mates and friends were telling me about it, but I was not able to play because I was away on a vacation. There were only 3 left, I used quite a decent amount of them. Haha... That was actually the last time I had sex. But that's probably TMI now.
One of my brothers teased me about being prepared after I have told him of the condoms I found in my bag. It was quite funny but then it got sad. At least to me. I mean, he most likely meant that I was prepped for when or if I ever get in a situation with this girl I like and have been trying to get to know that might require the use of condoms. But in reality, it wasn't really the case. I just randomly found them and have completely forgotten that I had them until today. So I was laughing inside to the thought of me preparing for something that intimate between me and this girl. Then it got sad, almost instantly.
The funny joke made me think that I'm really in a very uncertain and just very different experience in my life.
She's beautiful and talented. She's just amazing. I'm trying to get to know her more, slowly but surely. Taking my time and not rushing into things. But sometimes, I just feel like my efforts, though I have been holding back, are just in vain. I see no hope in the end with her. But I am pushing through because even if there's a 0.01% chance of her liking me in the end, then I'm willing to risk it and wait for that chance.
I'm lucky if I get a reply for my texts. And I'm even luckier if I get a hug. And frankly, I don't even see myself holding her hand in like 5 years or something... and that's just a wild guess with no basis on actual facts and approximations of whether she would like me or not. I'm saying, me getting condoms in preparation for if/when we actually get in a situation where we needed them, is like buying a camera that I would use in space for when I go there riding a spaceship. The chances of that happening in my life is sadly next to never, but it could happen.
I'm not even thinking of that right now. I'd be happy if eventually I'd get to hold her hand at least. That would be nice.
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