Work was fine. I think I did better today. Trying to get used to the protocols and procedures they have in the store. Nothing difficult though. I just need to remember and get myself familiarized with the tasks and equipment they have. Nothing too challenging, so far. Worked with mr. Edy and Nicole, they're great people. The manager kinda intimidates me though. But she's been nice to me. And I'm glad.
Because of this employment, however, I have been dressing up a bit more formal or clean. More presentable than my usual, trashy or sporty attire. Which is quite a good change for me. It felt a bit forced and weird to me at first, but I'm kinda digging the whole change in attire. And I might continue to just dress like that as often as I can.
She passed by the store earlier. The manager told me she was in front and that I should say hi. How did she know I knew her though? I'm not sure either why she dropped by at the store either. Maybe she had something to talk about with the employees there and decided to just come instead of calling. I tried to clean myself up, dropped the binder I was reading and went to the front to see her.
She was there. Jeans and knitted top. Her usual brown hair tied neatly. I have been wanting to see her and was happy that she came by. But then I remembered that she still hasn't replied to that message I sent her the other night. And it bummed me out the whole day. I didn't know what to say aside from the 'hi'. The terrible thing about me is I can pretend to be happy by making dirty jokes and ninja jokes. But when I'm stirred, I'm really stirred. But I think I did okay just acting cool. Maybe not. Not really sure. I don't even know if she got my message. Maybe she didn't even get it... Ugh.
She asked me if I was going to school. I didn't plan on going since I wanted to get pants and shirts for work. But after she asked me that, I just kinda felt like I got hypnotized or Jedi Mind Tricked into saying that I was of course going to school. I said yes and thought to myself, 'what?! No! I wasn't going to. Now I have to go... How did she do that?!) She seems to have this unusual capacity to control my mind. She can probably try and sell me things I don't wanna buy and she'd get me to buy them. Damn.
In the end, I had to go to the back to get ready to leave after we talked a tiny bit. But when I got back in front, she wasn't there anymore. I took off and decided to get a small coffee. I sat and waited. I sat there sipping on my coffee and thinking if I should go see her. Standing there smiling and looking at her and talking for a little bit didn't seem enough fix for me. But I hesitated. I thought and I decided to just go. Go home and get ready for school. I went to school.
Still haven't gotten a reply. I wonder if she even got the messages. I'm almost positive that she did. But I just can't help but feel terrible that I did that. I probably shouldn't have. I shouldn't have asked her out for Valentines day and crossed a line I should've stayed away from. I shouldn't have sent her that message and cause her to maybe get even more uncomfortable and nervous. I can't help but feel like I messed up quite a bit with those recent endeavors.
Still no reply. I don't even know if she still wants to go see Hobbit this Saturday. I know she started school already and if she decided not to go anymore, I'll understand. It's Wednesday. I guess I'll have to wait a few more days to find out what her decision. And as for me, I need to learn how to think before doing things.
Oh, man. This is my 100th blog entry!!! I've written quite a bit...
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