Blog Status Evaluation 01

(A Public Diary for myself, those who know me or want to know me.)

March 6th of the year 2012, I sat down and wrote my first blog entry. I sat in front of my computer and decided to open a blog for a handful of reasons. Mainly, as a way for me to document as much of my life and existence as possible. At the time and maybe still a little bit up to this day, I was a bit terrified of the notion that I could die at any time and I'd be just gone forever. Friends and relatives will surely remember, but at some point I will definitely fade away and just disappear from everyone's memories. I was afraid that nobody would really get to know me the way I know myself. I wanted to tell my story. The tale of my existence in bits and pieces written in a non-chronological order. I wanted to attempt a method of leaving behind a testament to how I lived as a person, the decisions I've made and the experiences I've gone through. I expected no audience but myself, though I made sure that I regularly shared my entries on my Facebook page. I did my best to disclose the most important aspects and stories of my life and to write about the things I thought were qualities that made myself the kind and sweet person that I always aimed to be. In the process of doing so, I may also have written about a few things that made me look like a terrible person. Mistakes and bad decisions. I am in no way a perfect person and I fully acknowledge and accept the qualities that make me less of an amazing individual.

I've written about a lot of different subjects. I have reasons to believe that the blog itself turned out to be quite a depressing place to be the majority of the time. I wrote about nice things but observing the subjects I've posted made me realize that I've written a lot of saddening and depressing things. I think it was due to the fact that I was still bitter about my recent break up and I used the blog as a means to talk about and say the things I could never ever share with anyone else. Even though it must've been what I really needed the most. But just like always, I've managed to come out of the dark days alive and well. Wiser and stronger.

My friends helped quite a bit and I'm glad they all came to my life when they did. It was just at the right time.

The entries and all the writing I've done within the months I've spent on this blog not only provided me of a way to express the thoughts I couldn't talk to anyone with, but also gave me an easy way to read about myself and learn from a different perspective. It's one thing to think and another to read what I've written and analyze the good things and the bad things I've gotten myself into. The blog indeed helped me learn quite a bit about myself and realize some mistakes I didn't notice because of how I was emotionally stirred. Slowly but surely, the blog among many other factors in my life aided me in many ways to remind myself of what kind of person I really am or was. The bitterness I've harbored for more than 2 years cost me quite a bit. But luckily, I woke up and moved on. I don't regret anything, but I've learned that life is just too short to live a sad life. We only get one shot at life, we need to do our best to live it as joyful as we can possibly make it out to be.

This public diary served its intended purpose and continues to become an outlet for me to express myself in subjects I may not be able to share with someone up front. It will remain a place for me to document my existence and thoughts for myself, for those who want to know me and if I'm lucky, to the ones I can call my family. I do my best to write as much about my current thoughts as well in addition to the past experiences I've gone through. Though I may not have a specific pattern to the subjects I decide to tackle, I try to make sure that I find balance between entries regarding the past and posts about the present.

The blog started out to be quite a depressing read but lately I've been writing more about happier thoughts and I'm glad that this year seems to be a great one for me. I'm satisfied with this project and I'm glad I took the initiative to go through with it.

Some images are already missing from the entries. I think I know the reason behind it and I've made the effort to make sure they don't disappear again.
I would like to also expand on other ideas regarding subjects I would like to tackle on from here on in. Of course, I'll continue with the series I already started. But I have a few more ideas and topics I would like to talk about and I just need to find the time and sit down to write.

And to whoever is reading this, I thank you for taking the time to check what I have to say. Whatever your reason may be for reading, I thank you all the same. It's appreciated and I hope I somehow shared something worthwhile to you and made this blog a learning experience to you as well.